A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table." The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation ?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."